Distant

As I’m writing this post, I’m trying to get my fingers to be familiarized with the keyboard that is french-oriented; took me about a minute to type out this one sentence. Apart from that, I’m sitting on the room’s floor in the kind of darkness that gives a melancholic feeling. It’s almost dusk and it was raining with heavy winds right before this. To add on to this atmosphere, I’m listening to the Interstellar’s main soundtrack. With the already quiet and calm surrounding, I feel a pinch of sadness as I realized again that it’s my birthday today. It’s the first time that I’m spending my birthday far away from home, the place I grew up in, away from the familiar sights and places. To think I used to envy people who get to spend their birthdays on a trip or go somewhere as a treat for them. But today, I find myself yearning to spend some time with my dear family or close friends – even if it’s at home. I miss them even more as I’m writing this. While I do admit that there’s a part of me that still wants to spend a solo quiet time somewhere outside just because I’m used to doing this for the past few years. Not being able to see the husband for almost the entire day even for today, due to hectic work and long journeys does not really help much too.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be able to live this far and witness my life taking a different turn. I’m content but that does not mean I feel great entirely. It’s different when loneliness eats you up but I’ll be okay 🙂 For now, let me spend my day of turning twenty-eight with a mind that wanders to moments and places I’m familiar with as my heart misses the people I love while my body is sitted in a foreign place. A foreign place that I’m slowly beginning to call home.

Time is getting faster, we’re getting older

The last few days of the previous week made me missed having 3 iftar sessions with my parents. All due to hectic and long work schedules which made me and some of my colleagues stayed till late as past 10pm (crazy, I know). This year Ramadhan is slightly different for me as my sis has already moved out and my brother is seldom at home. So one night of not being with them for iftar makes me feel a certain void that I cannot explain. It makes me want to spend these little moments with them for as long as it last.

Ramadhan is so special and almost half of it is gone now. Wondering if I’m making good use of it so far :/

May

May has always been a month that I dread since young. Always full of exams, extra work and events. These few days have been overwhelming, rushing, content and emotional at the same time.

Finally my sis is married to the man that she loves, Alhamdulillah. No words can describe how I felt at that moment when it was official. No, I did not teared (in denial).

On the other hand, another year passed and I’m still here seeing thoughtful words from few old and new people. Thank you 🙂

May the next several weeks be better. Better to cope.