Distant

As I’m writing this post, I’m trying to get my fingers to be familiarized with the keyboard that is french-oriented; took me about a minute to type out this one sentence. Apart from that, I’m sitting on the room’s floor in the kind of darkness that gives a melancholic feeling. It’s almost dusk and it was raining with heavy winds right before this. To add on to this atmosphere, I’m listening to the Interstellar’s main soundtrack. With the already quiet and calm surrounding, I feel a pinch of sadness as I realized again that it’s my birthday today. It’s the first time that I’m spending my birthday far away from home, the place I grew up in, away from the familiar sights and places. To think I used to envy people who get to spend their birthdays on a trip or go somewhere as a treat for them. But today, I find myself yearning to spend some time with my dear family or close friends – even if it’s at home. I miss them even more as I’m writing this. While I do admit that there’s a part of me that still wants to spend a solo quiet time somewhere outside just because I’m used to doing this for the past few years. Not being able to see the husband for almost the entire day even for today, due to hectic work and long journeys does not really help much too.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be able to live this far and witness my life taking a different turn. I’m content but that does not mean I feel great entirely. It’s different when loneliness eats you up but I’ll be okay 🙂 For now, let me spend my day of turning twenty-eight with a mind that wanders to moments and places I’m familiar with as my heart misses the people I love while my body is sitted in a foreign place. A foreign place that I’m slowly beginning to call home.

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