Drowning

It’s strange how one moment you’re so close with someone, like you can just share with them almost half of  your story. Then at the next moment, you see yourself being so distant from each other. It’s like you’re afraid to even approach, to talk to them. The worse thing is you don’t even know what caused this awkwardness and you can’t help but keep on thinking what did you ever do wrong. Then it hits you, that it’s your fault and you blame yourself for letting this happen. You let this be.

I’ve been pretty occupied lately with work. To create, set up and finalize the layout of the classroom is taking a toll on me these past few days. I’m having a love-hate relationship with this. As much as it’s so chaotic in work, it’s good that i’m using it as a getaway from the thing that has been bothering in my mind over the last many days. But as much as all the hours and minutes are used for this, that’s how much i’ve been thinking about it.

I choose to live in denial, to expect the worst and to distant myself from people. And i guess i know where i stand all along.

It’s wednesday already, one more day to complete my way through. Take care.

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