you see, listen and just smile

So much thoughts and emotions were going through the mind. You think too much and you couldn’t sleep. There’s so much words you need to say but they never seem to come out right. You started to think that you’re a fool for believing anything. You started to believe those people who called you naive for trusting everything that you think is true. You believed.

And the trust you give was just taken for granted, over and over again. Even though you think that trust is something that you would never give away, because it’s one of the precious thing you can ever own. Yet you don’t seem to mind about it. The people whom you are kind to just couldn’t be bothered about your well-being and wouldn’t remember every single thing that you had done for them.  Be it you cry every single tears you had or scraped every sweat for them. And you never really hear or see any thank you that you think you deserved. But everything will always be its ok.

The people you often surround yourself with were the one who often brings you down too little or too much and yet you just keep quiet. You often hear yourself speaks, when everyone’s not hearing. You’re always listening to people’s voice, but never your own.

You feel like you never really fit in anywhere and thinks people judge you by the way you wear and how you look like. You can never really carry a pretty look. Whenever you want to look pretty, you know that you’re never up there. People will never notice you, anyway. You just realize that you can never be like any other girl that every guy would want to have.

You feel like you’re always the second to everything, never the first. Seems like nothing can ever go right for you, even though you always try to be careful. And all you can ever do is keep quite and just write. Then again, you feel that all you ever need is someone to listen, accept and appreciate you for who you are. This, is some random thoughts.

I beat my pb, beat my shadow and got a second. Everyone’s cheering. But why wasn’t i’m feeling that happiness i’m ought to have the whole night?

Off to watch the match. It’s ok Sol, even though you’re old and looks heavy, i still think that i believe in you 🙂 Gunners, you better win ok cos i stayed up the whole night without knowing what to do just to watch you guys even though i am so sleepy and should be sleeping. Takecare.


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