Absence & Denial

It’s just one of those tired nights after a long day with heavy eyelids and soft music in the background. Makes you just want to throw yourself onto the bed and allows it to swallow you. It’s just one of those moment when your mind is rushing with thoughts and it pinned down to a particular soul. I’m not one who would reveal much to anyone but I’m beginning to feel a certain sense of absence lately. You know when you’re getting used to a situation and you’re feeling like everything’s going to be alright but suddenly something just had to block you from flying high. From living the good dream. Feels like it was just days ago I was living in the dream and it takes few days for reality to slap me in the face. Harsh, indeed. 

I’m hoping this harsh reality will also be the one making me occupied with just work, studies and children. Just that. If this is how it’s gonna be, I’m prepared to hide this tiny thing inside me away and embrace whatever’s in place. At the same time, those “I told you so..” would be lingering in my mind for as long as I’m going to hide. Now, here we go again. *Gulp*

Review: The Avengers

Reblogged from Monster Popcorn:

I don’t even know where to begin in reviewing The Avengers.  The movie was like a dream.  It was a blur of holy-shit-this-is-happening moments full of awesomeness (articulate, I know).  When it was over, it was like waking up from a dream where you are trying to process it so you can remember it all.  For all intents and purposes, this movie could have gone so wrong so many times during its development process but it didn’t.  

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One of the most anticipated movies and it didn't let me down. Like a fangirl, I was so fascinated by each scene especially when it gets really seriously, funny.

Thank you April

I have no idea why the sudden emotions come gushing over me tonight. It’s been a while since I last penned out my thoughts. Million things happened and all I can say is I can’t be thankful enough. You know what, I was feeling really down a moment ago but then I remembered why I shouldn’t be. Will probably write again on one of the days, when I’m done with these assessment. Started listening up to some of Yong Hwa’s songs. Was a fan of him back in You’re Beautiful and never really follow up after that. Till a friend of mine introduced a few recently and I was infatuated by one.

Jung Yong Hwa – Banmal song

Alright now, I have 15 little ones to handle in the morning. Hope this week will be a good one. May peace be upon you (:

Syria

Reblogged from Leave Me Here..:

Looking back.

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What a beauty.

Magical

Remember how I bantered about my days earlier this week and hope for a better end? God surely knows it all. I can’t be thankful enough as to how my weekends had been. Lemme sum it up in the most simplest way I can think of, alright?  

Catch the Hunger Games on friday’s night. Pretty ok and if I were to compare with Harry Potter and Twilight, I’d obviously go for it. Never a fan and probably never will watch the redundant love story of vampires and mr flat nose. Anyway, went to watch it with one of my new friend. Well, it wasn’t as awkward as I’d imagined or had a hard time talking like how I would be whenever I meet a new friend back then. So, thank you! And so the weekend moved on to the Saturday. Had a brilliantly great day. Can’t remember the last time I had one. Despite the heavy head and disturbing cramp, walked a mile with Amira just to catch the performance. During the whole journey, it feels like I hopping from one city to another. One minute it feels like I’m in India, the next in Malaysia then Taiwan. The people and places it gave was just mysteriously attractive. 

The long awaited Swar Tarang musical waves performance was beautiful. Everything about it; the sound, the atmosphere, the music that echo around the ears of everyone in the theatre was breathtaking. Believe it or not, I actually think I hallucinated rabbits, hairy monsters (or werewolfs) and some other weird creatures in some point. I saw them mingling around in odd areas, I swear. It took me a while to shake those images off and to realize that it’s not real. Such a bizarre experience. And so, we survived through the crowd and ended up talking silly stuffs like how unlikely we would be on working days. To wrap up my night, my boys did me proud with a win against Aston Villa with an easy 3-0 lead. 7 win in a row now, we’re slowly climbing back up alright.

It’s a chilling Sunday. The trees are drenched and the cats are napping soundly in the comfy couch. I’m about to head out to enjoy a freezing flavored ice cream with the women I love. In the meantime, would like to share with you one of the lovely song from the ever amazing Ólafur Arnalds, a perfect song for moment like this.

Near Light

Now, have a good evening and let’s gear up for Monday shall we? May peace be upon you. 

Give me a reason to smile

You know that moment when you’d finally blow up after a hard day. After you’d bury every little thing inside for far too much and something just had to kick the bucket and trigger off the ticking bomb. Yeah, that was what happened earlier and it doesn’t help too that I woke up with a ‘swollen eyes’. Which of course a colleague just had to ask about it as soon as the crowd were assembling. Asking across the hallway, where everyone could hear and immediately zoom into my eyes. Yes, I have slitted ugly eyes. Can’t believe I actually let it out two days in a row. Must be the mood swings plus other stuffs. Oh the horror, of being a woman. Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I ever burst out that hard. The only one I can remember was 3 years ago. Erm, yea you know the dates or which year was that. Horrible experience ever. However, right after the incident today, I clearly told myself in the mirror that “alright, I’m going through this. Why the heck did I show this weakness?”. No, not in a psychotic way of course.

I never like being involved in this emotional shitty feeling. It feels shallow. It feels wrong? I thought I’d learn and constantly advice myself (and anyone else) about how positive thinking has always help me feel good. How it makes me not worry about the near future and just let things be the way it is. Basically, I’d withdrawn myself from being attached to anything or even anyone. It just comes to that point.

Oh and you know what else happened? Those (seriously) salty tears just had to flow like an endless river while I was serving the food to those little ones. The worse thing? Every single one of them were giving me the big gooey stares. Heard some whispered to their friends asking whether I was crying. For a moment, I felt like I’m in a drama series. The only thing that’s missing is the epic background music. Freak yes, it’s NOT a good feeling to be tearing up in front of them. It shows how weak the ‘teacher’ they have always thought is a ‘huge’ figure cry like they do.

Visited my dearest friend, Aqidah in the hospital earlier. Her situation kind of affected my emotions as well. I really hope she’ll get well soon. You know dear, that I’m always here. We’ll be indulging ourselves with JCO enormous size yoghurt and sit all afternoon talking about our lives soon, alright? (:

This may just be one of  my least favorite story. Pardon me for thinking I’m another freak complaining about how terrible her day has been or anything else. Well, if there’s anywhere else I want to furiously write within an hour, this was just the ‘perfect’ space. Now if you would excuse me, I’d like to hug my comfy blanket and hope that the remaining days will be better. By far, this week hasn’t been nice to me so a little sunshine will be great. Have a good day.

Erik Johansson

Reblogged from Make Something Mondays!:

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Erik Johansson is a professional photographer and retoucher from Sweden based in Berlin, Germany. He works mostly with personal- and commissioned projects. Photography is just a way for him to collect material to realize the ideas in his mind. Erik gets inspired by things around him in his daily life. Every new project is a new challenge and his goal is to realize them as realistic as possible.

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Magical photos here!

we’re gonna get so high

As much I’d prefer melodic tunes, I’m guessing that would only make me sleepy therefore nothing beats classic songs and a cuppa coffee to keep me up all night each time there’s work due. Anyone remember this? Used to be one of my favorites. Screw the bad quality of the video btw.

Lighthouse Family – High

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night

Looking forward to the weekend, have a lovely friday everyone. May peace be upon you (:

KONY 2012 - Why the Campaign is a Sham

Reblogged from Les Masquent L'enfant:

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Social media has been an effective tool in creating awareness for a particular subject or cause and the first instinct many would have is to share which inevitably contribute to its virality. The problem here is, what is a million share when most do not even understand the background or research enough in knowing what exactly they are sharing; and once shared, what’s next?

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Thanks for sharing.

Paddy field, yes please

It’s only the beginning of March but the feeling of exhaustion has set onto me. Am at the point where I’m trying to accept the reality of life. People come, people go. Isn’t this what I’d learn since years ago? Yes I thought I should probably be used to this situation but when you’re stuck in a dreaded working environment and the only people you’re close with are leaving, the sense of giving up sets in. The thought of being the only one stranded and having 3 years more to go, it seems pretty darn long. That will to do something I’ve been wanting to do comes knocking at my head. Well it’s probably not that clear plus, I still have few years to think through about it. I need some rainbow in my life right now, apart from the children. I’m living in a monotonous cycle for quite some time. There’s just so much we can do and I’m working towards it. Well, slowly.. 

Being in such thoughts makes me want to bask myself under mr sun with the clear blue sky and huge fluffy clouds sheltering above me at a sea of green field. That will be my ultimate getaway, really. 

Picture courtesy of Travelsbali

I should probably get a ticket and take a break, yes? Please. Now, I shall face another day and well, keep dreaming.